the vision

on 11:33 PM

when u r thinking of yr vision,could u ever seperate it from wealth?
some will say they dont know what is their vision,thats kind of poor life,they dont even hv one.thats really pity...
some will say i wanna live in a medium house,medium car with my love one rather than be a rich guy.
some will say: "i wanna be rich,i m inspired to spend my life in luxury way,i wanna be the one affordable for anything i want."
but how far is consider good life?
actly everything is connected,good life come with health and wealth.
outside yr protected hunt,everything is realistic as materialistic.
yeah,i heard many they would like to drive local proton car is enough to live,the reason is they dont need more,they r not happy to get more,its aprreciation.
in fact,i do not think only that way,actly life is not only for fighting for either BMW or proton.
but the mean of yr lifestyle,let say there is an emergency,and u need a big sum,so will u sell over yr proton or yr house to settle the problem since yr pay for even few years wont be able to reach that number.
but no,life isnt a just fight for choosing a proton or BMW,u actly need to pay for everything better for reason.
with no doubt,u need to hv the money for everything,mayb u wanna buy a ring to propose,u need to cover yr family by insurance,or u need to travel then all u need is money.
what i wanna express here is money is powerful,its powerful enough to bring freedom or take away the freedom.
lets come to real life,spending almost 8 hours a day working is the trend of living now.
for getting promotion,increasement of salary,perhaps hv to work harder.
but sometimes,even how hard u work,u only managed to earn the number for the house & car loans,insurance,and some living spending,meanwhile,u gave away yr time,yr freedom.
but there is little portion of people didnt work that way to live,they didnt exchange their freedom.
they buy people freedom to work for them and they own their time to spend.
this is gonna be my life.
my vision is set myself free from working hard,and do what i enjoy with..

笑我笨

on 6:08 AM

怎样的人才算聪明,怎样才是笨?
占上风,占优势的人算是聪明,而处处忍让他人,不多计较的人便是笨?
到今天我还不懂...
不懂得占便宜,不用大声唬人就被笑笨,这什么想法啊?
唉,今天我深深感受到自己实在是“不会做人”!
笑我笨,笑我天真,也许吧!
做人其实不容易,要真心更不容易,不一定有人领情了。
自问身边人有多几个是真心良伴,有多几个是手足?
假情假意的到时多,对啦,伪装是种自我保护。
得好好向人学习做人啦。

grey

on 4:14 AM

the day is grey today.
its like alone,i wondered if human need anything to live?
everything seems fake,i dont know what i got to do.
felt so conflicted.
i tasted the stress,i felt the cold,i was desolated.
i'm injured.
lost in my way.

28/11

on 6:58 AM

if u tell 10 people if got a problem,7 will dont care and 3 are glad u hv the problem.
it is very true,that v r the one who care about our own.
hardly find one care u from a group of people called friend,merely friend.
people are thinking more about wat they will hv their lunch than they think about u.
true right?
i know some friend are playing a role like a trader in bussiness.
they r dealing with u like a bussiness deal.
when u no longer offering a good deal,opss...sorry,they turn out.
tats wat in my mind lately,mayb i was too late to realise tis.

grandma will recover

on 4:20 AM

看见阿ma躺在病床上,含糊地说话,不时喘着,连呼吸都叹气,我真的呆了。
她老人家很费心的养大了孩子,刻苦耐劳地把孩子带大成家了,自己就老去了,也没什么机会享福啊。
她老人家没受过何等教育,不认识字,却把家管得很好,在我爸还小时是路边摊卖面卖冰水的。
我曾问她为何脚上的几根趾甲是畸形的,其实是因为当时工作被大冰条摔伤,好不起来。
现在老了,几次自己剪脚趾甲还不察觉到流血,被工人看到了才发现。
阿ma从小看着我们长大,从婴儿般的幼小到长大成人,一点都不简单。
现在孙子大了,不但不孝顺,反而还要她老人家操心,就连睡在病床上了还念着不放心我家人。
顿时,无言多说,静静地看着她,发现她又老了许多,现在连背热要自行转身都无能为力。
看久了,眼红了,抬不起头。
她老人家的教训我不敢不听,说的不是什么大道理,不过却是她亲身经历的经验。
生老病死是无法避免的,我也希望阿公阿ma可以安心地度过晚年。

my hometown

on 3:56 AM

seeing everybody heading back to their hometown, but not me.
not bcs of its distance, not bcs of i had forgotten address, not bcs of i hv no hometown.
i hv hometown,it is Sungai Petani,Kedah.
i lived there for arnd 20 years till now.
actly,there is no place i had ever familiar with and will never get lost except there.
i was not born in there but used to grew up there.
there,place me to go school,i meet friend,but now what?
i hv no reason to return there.
yes,of course there is reason for me not to return.
so i didnt manage to catch up any party,gathering or a good time with my parent.
what to do?
i dont really blaming what is happening.
just let it b.

its in yr grasp

on 3:28 AM

believe it or not,facebook & msn have became there place to complain about.
many words are pointing others' mistakes, stabbing one's back,but grumbling tat kind of feeling dont help.
yeah,they meant they are sad, and they only to say: "i m a freak,argh..."and thats all.
dont u think tat its funny if the people only know to point out here and there is the problem,but never take into consideration on what the hell for doing so.
looking for solution is better than crawling that much!
come on,u hv grew up,and know how to complain only.
should lead yr own way.
telling people how pity how crazy is not an idea,u need to find out.
yr own happiness is on yr hand.
alright,it seems that everyone is in trouble?
no!there is no trouble when u dont think it is.
normally, people seldom be grateful, they rather look up vulnerability.
pls lah!wake up and look around,there is no big deal,just take the pleasure.
grumbling is such disgusting.
be thanksgiving,be grateful.
人总是在最后才知道原来谁最好,其实最好的就在于你有没有去把握。

the changes

on 7:22 AM

3rd sem at USM.
i had been introduced to investment.
i changed,to know more about fiscal,which i will realise just after graduate.
previously, i was not really like to read on what news, economy acticles, politics, global issues,and so on.i felt like its complicated, overwhelming.
but now,i take heed.
started to interpret what is going on out there,out of my games and books.
dont think it not related to u.
what people thinks, must not necessary to be yours thought,but learn something about it.
watch it and learn from the causes and errors.
i realised,from people's perspective,we can adapt and build our own view.
their survey,theory could be helpful.
finally,what is money?
before,i look at money and i found that its a value that afford me to buy and spend in life.
realising after graduation,i will the responsibility to earn money,how to earn?
being either white-collar or blue-collar is not my eyes, they are money slave.
despite of an exchangable value,money is a tool.
in short,its a leveragable tool.
by now,i dont think that i m investor,i m still a learner.

12:44am 5/11/09

on 8:29 AM

珍惜究竟是什么?
我不会形容,因为我还学不会。
说倒容易,但想到做到真不容易。
干!这下子,很无奈,茫然着做什么都不起劲。
实在是软弱。
好想过这痛痛快快的日子。
像现在这样,哭又哭不出来,闷着。
想找人聊,也找不到。
今晚的心情完了,静静地在此写下。
有人知道吗?
读书不行,睡也睡不着,听歌《我真的受伤了》-张学友

my way

on 10:46 AM

今早起身不久,就在facebook看到一个消息,一位朋友的好友过世了。
虽然不认识,依然感慨着,人生就这样结束了。
死亡很可怕,谁也抵挡不过啊!
生命很短暂,
若不在喜欢的时候说出口,
不在有机会的时后珍惜,
谁也没得再来的机会。
很多人只懂得埋怨,说这差,那个不公平,活得好不愉快啊。
自问,有事情是完美的吗?
完美只是个假像,追求完美,其实只是追求空虚的假象罢了。
就算别人没对你付出,你也可以不求回报的付出。
试问有必要事事精准计算吗?
他人没对你好,你就不该对他好吗?
为何不能以不求回报作为出发点,真心地付出,其实更快乐!
我相信人与人之间有爱,情感的存在。
如果爱了就对他好,关心她,了解他,原谅他,人之所以伟大是因为爱!
当然也没必要去恨谁!

humbly

on 9:41 PM

feel like being humble is good.
that is once human will feel like themself were already good enough.
mayb,its really good but i mean dont only think that express ownself superior than others.
there is no need to underestimate others.
there is many ppl, things we need to comprehend in life,it never end.
there is a bunch of ppl better than us.
there is something that we dont hv in our mind, but others may hv.
respect everyone,insist to learn from them.
we r just small,little,minor in this planet.
what is the figure if 1 per 6.8billion?one of us is just stand for tat portion.
it taught me to be humble.
be a learner whenever.

a short guy

on 5:09 AM

i was going downstair to buy some foods,i was in a lift,when the lift moving down to lower floor,a group of girls coming in,i found that she stand at least 1 feet taller than me,hah!
then i turned my sight to others,i found that they r almost the same feet with me.
yeah,that is me,around 160cm i guess..very impressive.
many was telling that i'm poorly short,but why should i care?bcs they care?
do i live lower than people if i stand lower than them?
haha!!hey,man,it doesnt make sense at all!!
do u look down upon short guys?
because they hv incapability of jumping high to catch the star on sky?
or they dont playing good in basketball?
nonono,tall 1 actly good in outlooking i guess.
i dont define a person by looking at whether how tall they r.
height seems very important huh?
yeah,many,they compare and despise on people who is shorter.
how if u go western country?their average height is definitely higher than people living here.
do u think people look down upon u bcs u r shorter than?
no,they dont act silly.
so?if u laugh at someone short,pls brush yr brain.
one day,u will laugh yrself if u beat by a short guy.
here i m still standing straight and proud!
anyway,i find myself awesome.
=D

silent

on 5:05 AM

i hv no comment for this moment.
yet,i shouldnt hv any.
then i prefer silent.
actually,i dont talk much.
but u may find me talk a lot sometimes,but not now.
what a lazy sunday.
zZZ

有意义吗?

on 12:00 AM

人生是痛苦,还是快乐的?
我说,不计较,不做比较,就是快乐的。
从小我们就被教导所谓:一个人快乐满足不是因为拥有得多,而是他计较得少,对吧?
可能执着的那一刻,你想不开。
过了不久,你会发现,那个你,不理智...其实没什么大不了!
最近,也看透了不少事情,感谢身边的每个,对我好的坏的,都让我学习。
无论怎么样,我的原则不会被改变,只会成长,开阔。
我不会再盲目,不会再鲁莽了。
生活最需要想法,有了想法就有目标,为了目标奋斗,才有意义。

lecturer of the year

on 6:18 AM

tis morning,i had been told to be objective from a "bacteria expertist"...
kinda of funny,when he hands out a survey evaluation form to us.
asking us to evaluate his lecture as well,uh!
he told that we should criticize in negative and emotional way...
sound like warning us not to write bad thing.
in fact,he ought to have our best "compliment" mar...
i could say,u r almost perfect in hypnotherapy rather than conducting a lecture.
so imagine how did i fill up?haha,i think most of the people did like me...
he was damn proud with all those damn detailed,specific, deep scientific names of bacteria,and thats all.
i dont think he is teaching on lecture.
well,keep on playing reused slide,talking how power the bacteria works, yet giving us a nonsense course so.
the course is so called microbiology,but we r forced to memorize bacteria names,temp,pH,uh, i should say luckily not to memorize on Genomic sequence of bacteria...kinda boring and non-applicable course...but i turns it as lucky,we dont need to think hard,do hard,just simply memorize.
i consider it extremely useless,okay,tell u why.in future,if we require a detail regards to those temperature,pH,do we refers?o we can directly seek it out from brain?i m sure that even u r pretty confirm,u still refer ,so why u memorize?
LOL~millions n billions of names but by picking some of them , and use as study material...so at last what did u learn?
likewise to "biodiversity" ?penang turtle scientific name is tested?
woah...pls lah!!take a breath and reconsider,as u say,we r already APEX!!!!
why still doing all these...we learn nothing from it,graduate with useless stuff....

blind

on 11:25 PM

friend is someone who smile at u,say hi to u,as usually they have good moment with u of course.
but will they change their mind on u one day?
will them stab yr back without a clear understanding?
i define 2 type of friend in life:
1.so called friend
2.true friend
True friend never change his/her mind on u,so no backstabbing.
Trustworthy is really exist.whenever,whatever they will stay.
Their hands are always there for u, without return they wish.
They dont judge u because they know u.
They dont argue,they talk,comment,smile.
When something went wrong,they used to be a good accompanion , good listener.
seriously,true friend is getting extinct,selffishness is human nature.
kind but not blind is me.

brush-ing up!

on 10:42 AM

i got the reminder,i was not good in what i'm in now.
no matter, study nor love.
ppl comments were right,i must brush up.
study was quite heavy to me,could it has another way to gain knowledge?
at first till now,i was still reluctant to study on the subjects headed to me.
woah...i shouldnt make it harder.
for now,i shall just do n less questioning.
in love.i was holding too tight.
i admit,i act likely overcare when i was really care.
well,it not caring already,its more like carrying?
i started to know,even with the purpose of caring but sometimes i failed to give freedom,failed to be less tense,failed be to understanding.
haha,to have self-critism,then improvement,of course!

life recently.

on 10:17 AM

since i dont feel like to slp yet,i came blogging here.
recently?i shall say: its still okay!
just bit short of money but if saving still okay.
just little hectic in interval yet i have time to enjoy somehow.
just sometimes apt to feel struggle,while finally i will find a way to relieve.
i dont wish to get more,life is no need reluctant,catch it easy way.
happiness is the first!

1a.m.

on 9:56 AM

1am,the night is still young?
perhaps,to somebody its just the beginning of night.
i dont know...usually go to bed b4 it.i cant no more working hard at midnight,body is not feeling well after it.
my mind was not working well through out the day,felt like blur~
spent morning time at lab,noon for study and minor test, and night time gaming...
felt like i shouldnt play DoTA anymore.i shall quit.
okay...i kept on feeling like 2day was friday,haha,i guess i was so looking forward to weekend,weekend makes me feel more relaxing...ya,it should be.
while sunrise,its really friday already,yeah!
i like friday,cos friday has saturday n sunday ahead?yes,weekends!!
well,i gotta make my weekend worth tis time.

大男人哲理?-江海不拒细流

on 7:58 AM

日常中一说到男人,总是与“大”相随,如:大老爷们、大男人、男子汉大丈夫等等。相对而言女性总是以“小弱”来形容,如:小女子、弱妇女。孔子一个句话,让千百年来的妇女受尽冤屈:“唯女子与小人难养也”。古代说某人不象男子,则往往以妇人耻辱之,如妇人之见,妇人之仁等等。诸葛亮六出祈山,欲激司马懿出战,专门派人给司马懿送来“巾帼妇人之饰”(《晋书·宣帝纪》)。好象男人就是山,应该伟岸陡峭;是天,应该宽渊博大;是太阳,应当阳刚热闹。
男人须大。但大在何方,又怎样成其大?
物品大一般用长宽高来形容。实在,大男人也有长宽高三种要素,缺一不可:
长目光要长远。风物长宜放眼量。是大男人,一定要把眼力放远些。男人要有幻想,通俗点就是有野心、有幻想,要敢于做梦,哪怕是白日梦。我常说:梦,能使人走得更远,飞得更高。连梦都不敢做的男人,尽对不是男人!一句广告语说得好:心有多大,人生的舞台就有多大。当然,立志从远,行事从小。先正心修身齐家,然后才干治国平天下。不积跬步,无以至千里;扫一室始,扫天下终。
宽心胸要宽广。海纳百川,有容乃大。大男人必定有度量、能大气。有副对联,说弥勒佛的:“大肚能容,容天下难容之事;启齿便笑,笑天下可笑之人。”大男人应能容天下之事。男人尽对不能鸡肠鼠肚,琐屑较量,为一已得失耿耿于怀,为鸡毛蒜皮杯葛不清。“忍一时风平浪静,退一步海阔天空”。有个“六尺巷”的故事,说两个权贵家争地,互不相让,写信告到京城。某权贵一笑:“千里修书只为墙,让他三尺又何妨,万里长城今犹在,不见当年秦始皇。”这才是真正的宰相肚里能撑船,很有点大气。心胸宽广的人才干干成事业,心胸狭小的人永远难成大业。“心有多宽,路有多广”,男人应以广阔的胸怀和包容的性情往面对人和事。
高思想要有高度。我一直以为:男人可以无势力,但不可无境界。男人必需有自己的精力家园。《圣经》中说没有精力家园的人是迷途的羔羊,只能随波逐流、得过且过。王安石有句诗:“不畏浮云遮看眼,只缘身在最高层。”只有站在精力高地上俯瞰芸芸众生、审阅心坎世界,才干看得远,看得开,就如佛家讲悟禅,要跳出三界外。现实生涯中不可能阳春白雪、一尘不染,大男人也不可能都象屈原一样抱石沉江。可以进乡顺俗,但尽不能使自己进乡变俗;可以和光同尘,但不能使自己去光成尘。男人应当柔刚相济、主静躲锋,穷则独善其身,达则兼济天下。人生不可能始终一帆风顺,虎落平川时,也必定要时时提示自己是只虎,不能把自己当成犬。
大男子的做人要三分淡泊,七份韵致;做事要三分从容,七份潇洒。男人必需有自己的棱角和个性,我不爱好没有棱角个性的油滑之人。李白得到唐玄宗的诏书,大喜若狂:“仰天大笑出门往,我辈岂是蓬蒿人。”真正的大男人,即使媚俗也远比市井中人媚得可爱!
人生就象一条河,我们可能无法转变河流的来源,也无法断定河流的的终点,但可以尽力去拓展河流的宽度,加强奔跑的力气。我们可以使自己生涯变得快活些,日子过得滋润点,为人活得潇洒点。
泰山不让土壤,方能成其大;江海不拒细流,方能成其深。男人应当不断往扩大自己的长宽高,尽力使变成一个有思想有品味的人、一个真正大写的人!那么就必定能够快意人生、纵横江湖、游刃天地!

rearrangement!!

on 11:57 AM

i need rearrangement.
i m lost again..who blocks my way?of course is myself.
stayed up so late,blogging like donkey!!
spent whole day doing nonsense..
well,i dont get anything i wanted.
i need to rearrange tis by 2moro,work out my study,assignment and else.
not wasting time to talk nonsense and think too much.

alone?

on 11:21 AM

u need to be alone?
okay,i knw,just go ahead.
u will find me when u need me,i will show up as possible.
sometimes...i was speechless,yeah,ntg to express..
feeling so lonely recently, i was never neglect u in my mind.
okay,i agreed.i was sticky,bothering till u cant breath.
so? i will start adjusting,adjusting myself to solo?
come on...wat fault?!!
actly,i just need u.no need anything more,just a little concern...

bla bla bla

on 10:27 AM

exam was closing...pressure was rising...
i need to catch up as fast.
i was left out far behind,small test results were poor.
anyway, life is not so smooth recently..
i felt like i was not a good student,not a good fren,not a good bf,not a good human being...
i cant cope with all i hv,it is too fast than i can catch.
i cant smile when i need to smile.
i cant cry when i feel like crying.
i cant be piss while i hv to control my emotion.
i cant cheers up when i was down.
i felt sorry most of the time.
yeah,tis is life!

bad day

on 5:31 AM

i failed to hold my depression.
i was stress,down and no idea to go on already.
u will feel there is no humanity when u r weaker than others.
i throw tantrum,i shouted rudely,i stared at everyone,i speeding,i ran away,i showed my anger to everyone,even my loves one.
and then,i felt it was not a mature way to handle problem.yes,u r right,i showed an unmature way which is foolish.
thx, i wont act like tis anymore.

25/9

on 7:39 PM

by now,i m having heavy headache,down mood.
not sleep well,nor feeling well.
i hurt someone i care a lots,then how is the guilty feeling gonna go away..
how to apologize..
i made u disapointed,imsomnia and speechless and so.
wats wrong was wrong,sorry no cure,i know.
bad feeling?i hv it too.
i cant believe wat i hv done,it cant match with wat i preach.
disapointed myself, last night.

24/9

on 5:18 AM

i was boring when HOLIDAY.
i was boring when seeing everyone back HOME and i cant.
i was boring since my laptop has BREAKDOWN.
i was boring when facing B00KS.
i was boring when no body arnd to TALK.
i was boring gotta having LUNCH,DINNER all alone.
i was boring if i have tonnes of assignments to EDIT.
i was boring bcs while rolled up my contact list but no idea who can i CALL.
i was so boring when U r not around.
but i get used to be.

with hope

on 2:21 AM

there is no big deal!
i guess it still no big deal.
watever...
human should live with hope,no hope means all done.
so,i still strongly alive with hope.there is no big deal yeah!

21/9

on 8:40 PM

请问世界上有什么事情可以undo & reset?
答案是没有。
破碎的心拼揍不回。错过的机会不能后悔。
它会是一种成长,结束是另一个开始。
生命没有take two,该珍惜的不珍惜,失去以后就不用说了。
后悔只是浪费时间,后悔了就抛开过去,珍惜现在。

i believe i can fly!

on 5:14 AM

i should hv more believe toward myself.
i always remind myself not to get over-confident as well.
yet,i realise i hv not enough confident build up.
how to be confident and not over?
i m really not sure..
tats why i need to find it out.

海角七号

on 1:01 AM

《海角七号》
情書口白

ㄧ九四五年十二月二十五日
友子,太陽已經完全沒入了海面
我真的已經完全看不見台灣島了
你還站在那裡等我嗎?


友子
請原諒我這個懦弱的男人
從來不敢承認我們兩人的相愛
我甚至已經忘記
我是如何迷上那個不照規定理髮
而惹得我大發雷霆的女孩了
友子
你固執不講理、愛玩愛流行
我卻如此受不住的迷戀你
只是好不容易你畢業了
我們卻戰敗了
我是戰敗國的子民
貴族的驕傲瞬間墮落為犯人的枷
我只是個窮教師
為何要揹負一個民族的罪
時代的宿命是時代的罪過
我只是個窮教師
我愛你,卻必須放棄你


第三天
該怎麼克制自己不去想你
你是南方艷陽下成長的學生
我是從飄雪的北方渡洋過海的老師
我們是這麼的不同
為何卻會如此的相愛
我懷念艷陽…我懷念熱風…
我猶有記憶你被紅蟻惹毛的樣子
我知道我不該嘲笑你
但你踩著紅蟻的樣子真美
像踩著一種奇幻的舞步
憤怒、強烈又帶著輕挑的嬉笑…
友子,我就是那時愛上你的…
多希望這時有暴風
把我淹沒在這台灣與日本間的海域
這樣我就不必為了我的懦弱負責


友子
才幾天的航行
海風所帶來的哭聲已讓我蒼老許多
我不願離開甲板,也不願睡覺
我心裡已經做好盤算
一旦讓我著陸
我將一輩子不願再看見大海
海風啊,為何總是帶來哭聲呢?
愛人哭、嫁人哭、生孩子哭
想著你未來可能的幸福我總是會哭
只是我的淚水
總是在湧出前就被海風吹乾
湧不出淚水的哭泣,讓我更蒼老了
可惡的風
可惡的月光
可惡的海


十二月的海總是帶著憤怒
我承受著恥辱和悔恨的臭味
陪同不安靜地晃盪
不明白我到底是歸鄉
還是離鄉!


傍晚,已經進入了日本海
白天我頭痛欲裂
可恨的濃霧
阻擋了我一整個白天的視線
而現在的星光真美
記得你才是中學一年級小女生時
就膽敢以天狗食月的農村傳說
來挑戰我月蝕的天文理論嗎?
再說一件不怕你挑戰的理論
你知道我們現在所看到的星光
是自幾億光年遠的星球上
所發射過來的嗎?
哇,幾億光年發射出來的光
我們現在才看到
幾億光年的台灣島和日本島
又是什麼樣子呢?
山還是山,海還是海
卻不見了人
我想再多看幾眼星空
在這什麼都善變的人世間裡
我想看一下永恆
遇見了要往台灣避冬的烏魚群
我把對你的相思寄放在其中的一隻
希望你的漁人父親可以捕獲
友子,儘管他的氣味辛酸
你也一定要嚐一口
你會明白…
我不是拋棄你,我是捨不得你
我在眾人熟睡的甲板上反覆低喃
我不是拋棄你,我是捨不得你


天亮了,但又有何關係
反正日光總是帶來濃霧
黎明前的一段恍惚
我見到了日後的你韶華已逝
日後的我髮禿眼垂
晨霧如飄雪,覆蓋了我額上的皺紋
驕陽如烈焰,焚枯了你秀髮的烏黑
你我心中最後一點餘熱完全凋零
友子…
請原諒我這身無用的軀體


海上氣溫16度
風速12節、水深97米
已經看見了幾隻海鳥
預計明天入夜前我們即將登陸
友子…
我把我在台灣的相簿都留給你
就寄放在你母親那兒
但我偷了其中一張
是你在海邊玩水的那張
照片裡的海沒風也沒雨
照片裡的你,笑得就像在天堂
不管你的未來將屬於誰
誰都配不上你
原本以為我能將美好回憶妥善打包
到頭來卻發現我能攜走的只有虛無
我真的很想妳!
啊,彩虹!
但願這彩虹的兩端
足以跨過海洋,連結我和妳


友子,我已經平安著陸
七天的航行
我終於踩上我戰後殘破的土地
可是我卻開始思念海洋
這海洋為何總是站在
希望和滅絕的兩個極端
這是我的最後一封信
待會我就會把信寄出去
這容不下愛情的海洋
至少還容得下相思吧!
友子,我的相思你一定要收到
這樣你才會原諒我一點點
我想我會把你放在我心裡一輩子
就算娶妻、生子
在人生重要的轉折點上
一定會浮現…
你提著笨重的行李逃家
在遣返的人潮中,你孤單地站著
你戴著那頂…
存了好久的錢才買來的白色針織帽
是為了讓我能在人群中發現你吧!
我看見了…我看見了…
你安靜不動地站著
你像七月的烈日
讓我不敢再多看你一眼
你站得如此安靜
我刻意冰涼的心,卻又頓時燃起
我傷心,又不敢讓遺憾流露
我心裡嘀咕,嘴巴卻一聲不吭
我知道,思念這庸俗的字眼
將如陽光下的黑影
我逃他追…我追他逃…
一輩子


我會假裝你忘了我
假裝你將你我的過往
像候鳥一般從記憶中遷徙
假裝你已走過寒冬迎接春天
我會假裝…
一直到自以為一切都是真的!
然後…
祝你一生永遠幸福!

rounded way.

on 10:25 AM

when u face something hard,do u blieve there is another way round?
everything happens there suppose to hv solution.i blieve.
anything big u face,i hope u dont mess up at 1st.
stay calm and looking for the solution.
u knw y,earth is also round as the problem exist in the world should be rounded too.
at the dead end u may c,there is actly a blind spot hiding u from it real face,its rounded.
and life,is a circle too.
everyone can b said as running circle inside,keep on chasing,fighting for watever...but at last,after completing the cycle of so many cycles,u go with nothing.
u may b suffer when u face something big,but its rounded!
u got it solved nicely if u c it.

guessing game

on 9:19 AM

guessing...do u like guessing?
not matter how,u hv to face it.
when u hv no sure,u can only guess,right?
ahuh,2moro is an unknown,u can only guess.
i think if u can guess wat someone's thinking,u r the winner over him.
if u can guess wat is going to be the next,then u'll do better.

11/9

on 11:55 AM

dear,11th again.
to me now,every month seem more meaningful with the 11th day.
right now,i m a better person when get along with u,without u,i m seriously lack of my personality.
perhaps,every 11th of months,we r able to be with each other and celebrate as well.
in fact,u can simply guess my mind,even know wat i plan to do.
saying u dont need any present,and i know u just want me to save on expenses.n i had listened u.thx..
u knw,i dont like the feeling when i had been not afford for something i want.
wanna get away from tis situation..i will work harder and smarter,i promised!
dear,its wonderful to hv a girl like u.i love u.

gonna be

on 10:13 AM

when u r filled up with pressure,u hv choices.
either give up o kick off.
to me,d answer is always kick off!
so long i m still blaming y u always set a trap for me?y u never think of me as i always being kind to u!i dont knw..sad for u,y u r picking the wrong path for yrself.
nevertheless,i will never give up to something pushing me down.
no matter how hard,i will take it,n i will endure the toughness and then success!
i blieve in fate,fate arrange our destiny.
but discovery of our destiny is still in our hands,no one will help u but yrself.
so,u can do it if u trust yr hands.

1@@posts celebration!!

on 11:52 PM

by here,feeling grateful to thanks to blogger for providing a site for my expression.
sometimes,i dont feel like to speak but rather letter out,and so,i started feel good with blogging.
as i opened tis blog with the URL of :http://sad-in-heart.blogspot.com with the aim to shout out the sadness content feeling inside.
instead of tat,gradually it evolved into a blog of my thoughts,my style and my way!
as u came in my blog,u may know more truth,stories about me.
and actually,i m jus a normal guy with bad face(black,dull,ego looking) whos tend to be an outstanding contented person.
in life,we r always looking for problem solving skill despite of problem making skill.
so,here we go!

改变

on 11:01 PM

其实人大多都会随着年龄的增长而改变。
经历得越多,改变自然越大。
最近觉得很多人都变了,个性变了,态度也变了。
应该说他们只是暴露出更多人的本性了,对吧?
人之初,性本善?
对!但只是在“之初”的阶段,过后随着岁月的成长就会变得自我中心,现实,戴面具做人?
还好!我这二十年来遇到的人都okay!
虽然有令我失望的人格出现,可是我没因此而变得自私,还是保持着自己的想法。
我学到了看人不看表面,对我来说,表面功夫都是假情假意的。
也许这就是人生。
活在假情假意的圈子里一点都不痛快!
快脱脱掉,脱掉,面具脱掉,脱掉,通通脱掉!!
哈哈!

converse!!

on 8:24 AM

my new converse wallet,i would like to appreciate it much.thx u,dear!^^













think abt u

on 7:52 PM

previously,i realised tat caring to others,sacrifice to ownself to help our love ones is great.
but recently i realised whether i shall ask myself:do u ever think abt u,yrself?
the answer is NOT exactly do.
i would like to betray my soul to attempt someone's need.
tats wat in my blood,i couldnt eliminate tis characteristic,i dont ever think abt myself until now!
i started to knw tat i must care abt own benefits too.
perhaps,i grew more mature,more rational to protect myself ard.
tis is the phase for me to go through,go through tat when u r growing up...
it'snt acting cold-blooded,but i jus cant concern more,i was not hoping for rebate,indeed,jus hoping ones will attain his/her best life.
there is someone even how nice u put on,he/she jus dont knw.
i wondered,i was wrong but with right move i did,i was wrong bcs there is a bond between us.
dont matter how sad,i hv to set a new thought-dont sacrifice too much to someone tat never appreciate u,then u wont feel hurt.^^

28/8

on 11:17 AM

now,listening to canon in d,so relaxing...
although 2moro still a school day but i guess i hv ard in "merdeka" mood!
haha,so happy since few tests are done.
simply,i feel like going into holiday more even jus 3days off for me.
wanna hv a break for myself,wanna rest more...
i really like to able to hv freetime to spend in between.
yeah,its gonna be a good weekend.

dreams & goals

on 6:48 AM

the thing i learnt 2day is abt dreams & goals.
many ppl hv dreams but successful ppl hv goals.
wat is actly different between dreams and goals?
every goal has a process.
in order to achieve wat u want in life,u need to have a process tat lead u to achieve yr goals.
ppl fail to make their dream come true bcs they do not focus on the necessary process to achieve their dream.
dream is something has no process,it remains as dream.
so,instead of jus dreaming,v need to find out the process tat teach u how to success.
when u r talking abt dream,dont jus dreaming,find out a way tat lead u to it.
the process is the key.a goal without a process will remain a dream.

truth or wat?

on 11:46 PM

this world comprise of so many truth and fakes,and its mixed arnd us!
v hv no choices to escape all tis reality,cos v r living in it.
v dont control ppl 's mind,spreading nor rumour,but v can set ourself clear.
knwing well the situation by own analysis,not listen to others.
u knw why?sometimes even wat u c in front of u could be fake oso,so how if jus ppl's saying?
yup,tats y,actly i feel tat bother much abt ppl's saying is not necessary.
cos they may hv an unclear analysis,then mislead by others,so?
its actly better to hv our own perspective all the time,cos u aint owning the world thinking but jus owning yr way of life.

making differences

on 1:19 AM

while ppl working deep hard to achieve something tat usual person will undergo, i noticed myself not the one always following the rules .
it doesnt mean tat i like to against the rules but i tend to figure out my own perspective, my own rule .
i always like to think why i must follow ppl step? repeating ppl moves, tat y i m writing tis post .
i m not the person who finding for trouble, nor imaginary.
i was so disgusting abt blindly following style,wat fault to follow others without our own consideration?
aint tat our life should be determine by our own?
haha,i frequently felt sad to face my syllabus tat giving me tones of pointless study.
well..i jus hv to follow ppl's step tat swallow the terms tat i hv no ideas at all but still in order to pass exam and then graduate.
so so so....i m insist to learn something can be applicable in future, and i found it outside my bacteria,fungus,virus books.
purpose of study is to be a knowledgable person tat success in future carreer,right?
i guess not,while taking tis degree,i guess i learn only so little.
too lame to say tat the notes,lectures given were so pointless.how pity...
so let say u score 4-flat in tis kind of education status,will u say tat u r a graduate with knowledge?
i dont dare...
i guess 4-flater and moderate passer are no big difference except the result sheet.LOL~
so now,dont only study academic syllabus,better packing myself with extra knowledges,learn more other than "applied" bio,so tat i can get it applied one day i walk out University!!

x_x

on 7:17 PM

人生就像游泳,当你越挣扎,你就会越往下沉。
当你冷静了,学会放松后,你才发现原来人自有浮力,浮得起就游得自如了。
就是这样,可能学习放松的这堂课是必备的基础,用平常心去面对,其实再难也可以的!
最近很压力,然后慢慢地感受到这个道理。
每一天你面对的事情都是一种挑战,一种考验!
你有可能会受到挫折,奥恼,挣扎了起来。。
我想,其实它只不过失一个过程,可能会来得辛苦,但也是因为这样,它是一种领悟。
今天可能你被受到挫折了,你不妨看开点,其实它是一个过程,让你领悟人生的过程。
我经常都这样想,因为当你面对着不在自己操纵范围以内的,请不必烦恼中俳徊啦,耐心地等待就是一种方式!
哎呀,活得自在,过得自在就好了。

§†®€šš

on 8:01 AM

until 2day then i knw how stress is't.
when i feeling stress,a lot of acnes will appear on face.tats the most significant symptom,now i realised.the pimples caused by stress...
the 2nd symptom is dream talking,i jus realised tat i spoke nonsense every night recently.
i hv no mood now,feeling so lost when i m stress...
quite a long time not going for jogging la.
ar...my mind is totally blank now.
knw i have to throw away those worries,but merely i did..

你有所不知

on 6:24 AM

最近都活在压力下,总是忍着,冷静地去解决一些问题。
虽然很生气,不甘,失望,但面对的必竟是得设法来解决问题。
生气是不明白为什么总是把事情搞得一团糟,任何时候都不想后果,办事能烂到。。。爆啊!!
不甘是因为我的劝告从来都被当成“风”,直到现在还是不知悔改。。
失望,又灰心,心碎了几十次。。。都不说了,麻木了,对你太失望了。
真的希望过比较简单的日子,不想每天都烦恼啊,我不敢回家就是这样,也许我在逃避,只能逃避,因为我真的无能为力了,只不过是个大学生。

ƒ®£Ñž

on 12:46 AM

recently,i'm wondering in life,wat is actly a fren?
how do u value fren?
is that they r only important when they r needed?
or they r always important in yr life?
do u feel like anything happen they will jus blieve on u,stand 2gether with u without any doubt,assist u mayb not the most desired way but the best way they hv.
isn't a true fren is a caring,understanding enough to u?
do they count mistake on u?
do they lend u a hand when u need?
or only the 1 who appear to share happiness but apart from u when in trouble?
ahuh,a good fren actly is not the 1 who give u big smile everyday,but giving u the feeling of honesty when u look through their eyes,they r appreciating u so much.
to me,i m giving all my fren 100%,cos they ought to hv it,but they oso hv their way to deduct it.
if u really found someone not only give u a tissue when crying but a firm shoulder,a warm hand,pls dont lost them.
v only live once.and that coded the duration of the frenship.

12/8

on 2:19 AM

i guess my part timer life is gonna begin.
a little bit more busy to me..i gonna fight all the way for money like most human being do.
although i will be tire,although i hv to carry on my studies,but i guess it wont be a bad thing too.
i jus a little bit more earlier than others to start thinking of money-making.
it must not a bad thing,fromat least i m exposed earlier to knw more abt money.
it will probably train me to take time efficiently.

11/8-a good day to us

on 2:28 AM

today is a good day,i'm writing tis post bcos of tis.
the date has some meaning bhind,do u all knw,its the day i be with a girl for a month.it means a lot.
she is a kind of funny girl to me,always make me feel happy and warm.
dear,do u knw,u r a good girl to me. simply drag me out of the sad part of the world.
u knw,u can actly be my dopamine,my source of happiness,seriously,when my day is down,yr voice will be a good heal to me.its like telling me to be easy.
i need yr existance in my life,yr voice that makes me feel everything can be simple,oso yr hand that hold my hand firmly.
emm..i can simply miss u all the time,even jus few minute v jus meet.
dear, i'm not a romantic guy,yet, i wish to be yr good boy.u r not everything to me but u r the one i wish to take care,and go on with.no matter wat,i will be there for u.
c u 2nite.

fuck u!

on 10:14 PM

i dont like any attitude,pls dont ever show me tis!
pls,i jus cant accept tis kind of emotion.
watever u be,i can, may good enough to take any doubt on me,i can forbear a lot,but not any attitude problem,u dont show tis in front of me..
i jus dont like ppl throw tantrum on me,pls...
if any thing unsastified,pls mention it,dont use another way,u can talk softly,u can be calm,pls!!!

8/8

on 9:42 AM

i need an emergency hug from u,seriously...
u r important,exactly important to me.
wat i m doing now is okay to me,i will be fighting against tis,i believe.
night!

back on track

on 11:19 PM

i m the person who live better with sport.
last few month,i had started training,to gain better strength,achieve better stamina,target strive a stronger body,a healthy fit lifestyle.
i will be weak if i run away from my jogging track.
i like sport cos it makes my mind fresh,clear vision abt my target,in short,i knw more abt myself through sport.yet,i m not a professionalist in sport,but i do training,not for competition purpose,but for striving my aim,myself is a chanllenge and i tend to go stronger.
sport is my part of life.i'm back on track.

broken soul

on 5:50 PM

recently,its quite suffering..
my soul is being tear into pieces..
i m having tough days all along..
i need heal..seriously need it..
i wont tend to escape..
all i knw is to stay 2gether to come across the tough days..

我回来了

on 7:19 PM

一种经历,一种意思,一种体会。
我会希望今天会是晴天,不会下雨的冷天。
一路上,高速奔驰着,有点害怕,因为就快下雨了,但我知道我该有勇气地冲过去,冲过这场雨后就天晴了。
一路上都没雨,但地上依然是湿的,不敢加速,大概维持着100km/h左右罢了,我一路上都希望着这场雨会等我。
这四十几公里的路程,说长不长,就在大约半程时,刘德华的《冰雨》来了,每秒都有几百个小石头打在你身上的感觉,哇,爽!
看到很多骑士停下来了,我没停,因为我跟他们不一样的是我有那颗战斗心,我想冲过出去,冲出难关,得到天晴!回到家,我面对的就是雨天,回到槟城就是晴天!
最后我安全地在写这部落格了。雨天!我熬得过你!

i felt sorry

on 9:02 PM

actly...
i hv nothing big inside,i may look erogant,may look like acting ego,may look extra proud in front of ppl,mayb i speak louder than others,and i should act damn humble...
i felt apologize if i annoy someone in between,cos i really dont mean it.
everyone makes mistake right?emm,i did a mistake.so i m here get excuse from u all.
sorry for giving bad face to u guys...

wat fault?!

on 6:58 PM

how u act like when u r getting something helpless?
well,throw tantrum,get annoyed,emotional,bla bla,wont be my way.
wat i can do is to set my mind out of tat,dont think too much.haha~
sound hard to reach so huh?but its a good way,i dont like struggling.
u hv the patient,u stay calm and observe.
i blieve,when there is a will,its really a deal.it means,u really posses the great will.
something bad came,doesnt mean the world is down 4ever,u still survive.u still hv options!options to go on is either smile or sick?
ya,i prefer smile.
lastly,i think life is great cos there is someone for me,i smile after hug from her.

每一天都爱你多一些

on 11:44 PM

刚看了朋友的post,里面提到两个人在一起就会面对考验。
说得没错,经得起考验的感情才是真的,在一起就是要一同渡过开心与难关,对吧?
所以不能靠单方面的努力,感情是要双方面的付出与了解才有成果的。
就是这样,不必常把爱挂在口边,行动还是比较实在的。
喜欢一个人就要对她好,接受她的一切。
对我来说,要多点关怀对方,多点拥抱就够了。
我不懂浪漫,但我懂每天都爱你多一些。

blood donation

on 6:28 AM

haha,guess where is this?
yeah,it's bloody place,blood donation.
this girl bside me was 1st timer,haha,but have a lot of blood to donate la,she was so enjoy there.
me?old donor lor...but long time never do blood donation,at least 1 year i dont donate out my blood ard,so kedekut right?haha....
after withdrawal of estimately 300 ml,my face turned pale for a moment,haha...i m poor in health...but it's a nice day!^^




理解中

on 10:49 PM

顿时,我希望自己会变得更成熟。
现今的生活让我觉得世界太善变了,你太善变了。我有时会有种受不了的感觉,但是我想我还不成熟,我应该体会,谅解他人。我只想做到最好的自己。
就算一个人我也不会有事,因为习惯了,寂寞孤单还okay。
很多人总是那个失去后才懂得,我不会是。
如果我喜欢了,我会努力,我也会放手,然后等待。
我不赞成比较,勉强的事情,是你的,始终是你的,给点耐性吧!

烦啊。。

on 9:00 AM

烦。。
为什么说放手了,就还是不能放手?
四年的感情是真的吗?都过了,该不该珍惜都过了。。不想回头了,但为什么一收到她的信息就这样烦呢?
不该这样下去啊。。
上一段感情,我真的努力了,累了,不开心了那么久,分手不是很好吗?为什么不能洒脱点?爱到不爱了,你明白吗?
我在乎你是因为我曾经很爱你,但是现在你我都受伤了,我回不到以前的那个我了,你知道吗?你后悔,你想改,但你当初的对待已经吞没了我对你的爱,复合会有好结果吗?
我真的不好受,这我从来没说,因为一向来不好受我都不敢对你说,这是你给我的感觉。
这一刻很复杂,我快喘不过气了。。
两个人在一起,是很需要开心这个元素的。现在我给不到你开心了,你也一直在增加我的难过。
我够狠,可以不理你,我不喜欢hurt人,也不想说hurt你的话。
如今,我在这里说了,你听不到但希望你明白,你要好好过,离开我的世界。

dont judge me

on 4:11 AM

ppl living in the world,he should knw how gonna tolerate with the world,cos the world wont tolerate with him,thats so true.
i really dont care abt ppl's judgement,cos i hv it by myself.ppl's hv their thoughts,rules,but i m living on my own way.
thats y no necessary to care abt ppl's judgement.v jus cant control their thinking,their saying so wat fault to deal with it?
this aint mean tat i dont care abt others' feeling,but i jus hv my way.emm,i dont feel like to give ppl's reason wat i m doing now.
as long as i m good in my way,tats cool enough!
sometimes,there wont b always a favour,jus try to look at different angles,u will learn
something more abt it.

simple love

on 7:09 AM

to me,u r simple girl who makes me feel happy every single moment talking to u.u r quite special in yr stupidity way,hehe!tats nonsense speaking only.
emm...mayb thats how i will b missing u very often.
ya,the moment my life living so left out,alone,a suprise,i knw u.
since then,i hv a person to share.
when i m down i need u,truly,a simple chating with u is ard good comfort to me.
yup,i dont like to pretending any,i knew i love u.

我怎么了

on 8:59 AM

最近有种话说不出口,感觉表达不出来的感受。都不懂自己几时变得这样了…感觉很不自在,低落…这几天都是这样的,我变了,变得怎么了?不懂啊,很想一个人静静的想自己到底怎么了…

better man

on 9:03 AM

send someone to love me
i need to rest in arms
keep me safe fromharm
in pouring rain
give me endless summer
Lord i fear the cold
feel i'm getting old
before my time
as my soul heals the shame
i will grow through this pain
Lord i'm doing all i can
to be a better man
go easy on my conscience
cause it'snot my fault
i knw i've been taught
to take the blame
rest assured my angels
will catch my tears
walk me out of here
i'm in pain
as my soul heals the shame
i will grow through this pain
Lord i'm doing all i can
to be a better man
once you've found that lover
you're homeward bound
love is all around
love is all around
i know some have fallen
on stony ground
but love is all around
send someone to love me
i need to rest in arms
keep me safe from harm
in pouring rain
give me endless summer
Lord i fear the cold
feel i'm getting old
before my time
as my soul heals the shame
i will grow through this pain
Lord i'm doing all i can
to be a better man

anticipating

on 4:32 AM

very soon,semester break will come to d end.oh,wow...i jus realised i did ntg during holiday.
day n night playing dota only...ahah!wat a waste of time!n here i m writing tis post oso sensed tat i m too free to do so.
when recall my 1st year,i feel sorry abt my spending,its really too bad,i dint keep in control at all!sound serious?opss...it only show effects when yr pockets shaking empty!!hahaha!
i should bear in mind tat controlable spending only guarantee my saving wont exhaust.yes..jus cut off d unnecessary,save n save!i knw i should practise a better way of spending.
and to knw early,tis gonna b a tough semester,20 units to take care!!ouchs!!but,anyway,i will keep to my rule:work hard,play hard!^^
to the past,its actly a dreaming semester,byebye!
to the coming semester,i m so looking forward to it,its my jolly USM 2nd year.haha!!

The usefulness of a Malaysian degree

on 12:15 AM

Q: How useful is a Malaysian degree, in general?

A: Useful in Malaysia, not useful in the world. Much like BM.

Q: How useful is a Malaysian Honours degree, in general?

A: Not useful and not recognised pretty much everywhere. The CGPA system included GPAs from courseworks and exams and not entirely reflective of the quality of the thesis produced. Furthermore, the entire thesis is written in BM - a language no one understands outside of Malaysia (note: Bahasa Indonesia is different than BM).

Q: How useful is a Malaysian Phd, in general?

A: That depends on how many International publications you have, during and after your Phd. Publications = "money" in the research and academic world. No publications = no "money" = no "power" = no "influence". Many Malaysians with Phds I know just have a Phd and nothing after that. No paper. No contribution. No "money". No "power". No "influence". These ppl are just "Dr." by name.

Q: How useful is a Malaysian lecturer, in general?

A: As useful as the "recycled" lecture notes year in and year out and the excuses they give for missing lectures (eg: caught in traffic jam, "meeting", forgot it was today, busy etc).

Q: How useful is the Malaysian education system, in general?

A: As useful as the quality of students it produces - good short-term memory but lousy in independent thinking and work skills.

I hope this has been a useful summary.

note: the author was a product of the local Malaysian University but went on to pursue a Masters and Phd degree overseas.copyright from THE STAR

i dont like tis!

on 10:15 PM

i dislike ppl always ask me how,why,wat happen when i had something bad.
simply wat happen is ard there,no point to catch to reasons so alive,right?
unless u wanna do something abt it,can u?
i m single bcs i broke up!i broke up bcs i failed in my love.tat is't!
fren,i'm in pain,but i will b okay,jus okay!ntg more to say.
by now,i prefer single.
cos i'm still young,not mature, not independent enough.
anyway,single make me feel good now,enjoy solo life.
pls feel good wit the world!

My 21st birthday

on 6:17 AM

ahah,tis is my birthday party at cacao cafe.
v broke the silent there,thx for so many bros n sis b along wit me,celebrating 21st birthday!frens,u all really touched me,without u all how could it b a party!i m great after shaking yrs hand and get yrs wishes.thx a lots!
p/s:pics are not clear,cos no body bringing DC,LOL~but nvm still can c all lengzai n lenglui faces.^^
its nice memory,beautiful 21st kick start!the moment my phone is receiving wishing msg non-stop,the moment my facebook wall kena boom heavily,n i really get the wishes from u all. thx again,buddy!







































































最近

on 11:06 PM

隔很多天没写部落格了,很多东西想写出来,但出来上网那短短两个小时里又写不出。
今年的父亲节,我回家过了。每次回家都觉得爸老了,身体健康都不好了,嗯,真希望两年快快过,那我可以出来做工分担爸养家的责任了。很想做个孝顺的孩子,要让爸享受生活是我的目标。爸,很快的,父亲节就是我请客了。
说回自己,其实我还没准备接受新一段感情,可能刚分手,总会在人群中有着忍不住地伤感,不想表露出来但是却收不住,因为—我真的受伤了。
现在的我一个人还不错,没有包袱,轻轻松松的过。
如果说有没有想念ex,我也不知道,心里本来就有她怎么会不想她。
可是想她会伤心所以我会开始把她收到脑后,那才开心嘛!
就是这样,现在不想这么多,还年轻,明天才21,哈哈!最近,我就是这样,觉得对一个人好是很自然的,就顺其自然吧!生活爽就好!

14/6

on 4:50 AM

今天我的心情怪怪的,又再blur blur了。
此刻我说过得很好也是骗人的。
分手了,狠狠地做到最绝了,我会好受吗?
失去在心目中第一的你,就让我失去目标,顿时觉得所有东西都归到零。
四年了,才发现你我都不适合。。如果有得从来,我也不懂自己会不会再选择爱你,我的一切都是你给的,要不是你我会这样努力吗?但是这样的结局太不好了。。
dear,此刻我不再叫你dear了,我真的希望你过得很好,祝福你!!
我怕了,怕了谈恋爱,怕会再爱不起,怕又再不能做回原本的自己。

执着

on 9:58 PM

我觉得每个人都会有执着的一面,对某某东西执着未必是件坏事,因为执着可以是一种坚持到底/追求的性格。
人有时候就是须要这种心态才能达到目标,遇上挫折而不言败,不放弃的人才能成功。
但是不是每件事物都能执着地去面对。过于执着也是伤害,对别人对自己都是一种伤害。比如说,当你发现事情已成定局,都无法改变时再执着下去也没用了,那又何必辛苦自己呢?
所以我觉得做人该有一定的执着程度,但要懂得,不是每件事都能执着到底。当你已经努力地尝试过了,事情还没变,手放开不是更好吗?

我会好好过

on 6:39 AM

sometimes v feel blur without a clear reason,feel lost without realise,okay,tat means u r only human.
being human need to knw a lot of hows n whys in life,so v r facing n learning everyday.
if something make u feel like to be down 2day,its okay,cause u r human,but u dont bring up the sad stuff after it.
sometimes u knw u shouldnt b so obstinate,but the choices still on yr hand,y decide the bad 1 for yrself?
mayb tis is jus a 20 years old thinking,but u knw y human live?to me,live is jus to be happy.

5/6

on 7:54 AM

so long time getting disconnected...cant online cos no internet service at home,making me cant post blog,cant webcam,haiz...no internet no life is so good to describe the condition..
wat i hv been doing for these few days is jus working at penang floral fest.non-stop booming ppl,under hot sun that is killing...haha,but at least i learnt something abt plant.
feeling like to hv a good drink...haha,then i will b happy...
freaking tired cos whole day out,n night time ard tired to move...but very good to tell tat it gonna b over,2 more days to go,wakaka!
after tis i will b very free,feeling to b alive!!must keep on training,try to reach 55kg la.
frens,pls kindly call me up for activity.

后来才知道—张智成

on 8:02 AM

在朋友的生日party
发现你意外的出席
还和从前一的安静
而爱似乎所剩无几
所以当我靠近
连话都说得那么客气
那时街上我们哭得那么糟
好久以后才忘掉
可是我 可是你
可是那些任性
却迟迟不肯离去
直到
后来才知道
不是不要只是都选择了醉倒
一直到
后来才想到
当初没有固执地往反方向跑
爱是否还很好
人群终于渐渐散去
看着走出门外的你
往事最后还是都没提
而爱几乎垂手可及
只是抓得太紧
却以为那是一种权利
那时街上我们哭得那么糟
好久以后才忘掉
可是我 可是你
可是那些任性
却迟迟不肯离去
直到
后来才知道
不是不要只是都选择了醉倒
一直到
后来才想到
当初没有固执地往反方向跑
爱是否还很好
从前我们不需要呼吸
现在的我们比较像自己
关于过去 只剩
谢谢你
直到
后来才知道
不是不要只是都选择了醉倒
一直到
后来才突然想到
当初没有固执地往反方向跑
爱是否还很好

keep going~

on 10:46 PM

since the day i learn how to swim,i had addicted to it.
but amusingly i jus knw frogstyle...so now i hv start to learn freestyle,i knw i can do it one day.
last time when learning frogstyle,there are many sifu zai,but now all are damn lazy to move ard, i gonna practise all by myself.^^
no matter wat,swimming gonna b part of my life,n now its the right time for training@improvement,i will b stronger n faster!
2day,5pm,c u at pool!
kaka,no swimming no life!

boring=life

on 8:02 AM

i felt tat life is always filled wit boredom,n its happening to me lately.
i met the day n nite wit colourless pattern...no streamyx to online,no ppl gaming wit,no ppl to call,so tats freaking boring.
when the day u woke up wit no plan,no ppl to talk to?wat will u do?
yes,i faced all tis for few days ard.
can u go cinema alone?can u walk alone at shopping complex?can u go ktv alone?can u go for badminton game alone?can u go eat pizza alone?omg....i cant...where is yr solo king style?yeah~its gone...i need fren seriously.
haha,for these few coming days,i m going to discover penang island wit moto,LOL~
after ascertain the tank is full enough,then jus start off!
its so called "measuring road" job.no worry to get lost here,cos u r heading to no place,so u will never get lost!
haha,2moro will cont doing the job wit any direction is my direction!

21/5

on 8:56 PM

坐在电脑前面,面对着外面的世界,我很眇小。
如今的我,绝对是见一步走一步的,不是没有梦想,但我所遇到的事情告诉我,我只能这样来面对,不许我发梦。
其实见步走步,见招折招,努力地活在当下,不要求太远,那也很踏实啊!就如我常说的,没有人知道明天会如何,可能明天很多东西就会改变了。
像昆虫一样,长大后就要蜕变成蛹,再蜕变成蝴蝶。在成长中都会改变,觉得自己改变了,变得相信"destiny",会让所有东西自然地去发展,不会太过追求。是你的,就会是你的,不必勉强的。
这样子,生活不会太压抑了。
嗯,感觉今天心情挺不错,会比昨天好吧!
起码膝盖不痛了,hehe~相信明天会更好!

20/5

on 6:08 AM

表面上看起来,我是没事的,为什么会这样?因为我不想给人看到自己弱的一面吗?
我也不知道,今天膝盖又痛,痛了自己小小声呻吟,跛着脚走路的。这种伤不算什么,经常都痛,都痛惯了吧!
但我心痛了,在sp我很怕会遇见你,平时都是陪你出去,今日竟然是怕遇见你。我不知道自己要怎样面对一直都很关心的你,我怕,所以逃了。。
虽然生活总会寂寞,但少了你的信息更不用说,我更无聊了。。
以前有目标因为有你,现在我似乎有迷失了。。一整天都告诉自己没事,但是心里却是很乱的,可能是无聊,没事做就想你了。。
其实平时我都会想你,只是不跟你说,说了你也不信吧?其实我收到你说想我的信息是都会微笑。
我们分手了,为什么我不挽回,换了你来挽回我也不要,可能这样你觉得我在会怪你,但其实我不会怪你的,知道吗?说过无论什么事都不怪你,这个承诺我做得到!
想回以前的我们,不好的我不收了,美好的我会记得!想回以前我还会有着幸福感觉,这是我想谢谢你给我的爱!让我幸福过。。

lee mei's 21th birthday!!

on 9:41 PM

strawberry cake
haha,nice shot!the birthday girl,happy n enjoyable 21th!!
haha,always stim stim 1.
blur blur ling n i

3 siao kia,wakaka

Dr. yeuan

on 9:23 PM

TAN KOE YEUAN,NO MATRIK :102168,congratulation that u had completed the 1st year of degree with all pass!!n oso scoring 1 "lulus bersyarat" in the result sheet!!
haha,the 1st n the easiest year only,u score like tis,wat a big funny!!
lulus bersyarat means cgpa will drop as low as possible...then wat to do?
viewing through the "pro n con",i will feel like i m passing wit the worst way i had,bcs i had no idea to study the subject,namely biodiversity!
bsides,by the optimistic way,i knw tat i had successfully gone through tis sohai subject,wakaka...how nice to b grateful!!
so no matter how it's gonna b,my result is gonna b worst.
i will take it!congrats Dr.yeuan!!>,<

little thought

on 8:50 PM

每天只活在习惯里,却在不知不觉中,失去生命中的宝贵与甘甜。生命的每一天都是新鲜的,也都是最特别的,其中都有着奇妙的美事。只要用心留意每一天,你将发现处处都有奇迹!这个道理你感受到了吗?没有人懂自己明天会如何,也许今天你觉得闷、受挫、悲伤,但请别让那种感觉留太久,因为用这样的心情来渡过一天是太不精彩了。期望得太高太远也不一定办得到,过着一天就要好好努力与享受那一天。用享受来珍惜每一天就是一种人生观!

P£@c£

on 1:23 PM

the time clocked at 4.25am,i still awake from slppy,enjoying the peaceful nite@morning.
in turn of long time i dint appear as nortunal species,i put the nite lamp on.well,so revel in the peaceful night...feeling like free spirit!
the last paper is jus done,n it marks d end of semester 2.tis was quite excited to me,cos its HOLID@Y!!
no point to b no enjoying!!haha!
emm...hving some carlsberg in front of screen.guys,remember end of last semester v did tis oso.playing counnter strike over night!!but now only i kept the tradisional,i still bear a drink n stay over night,hahaha!
i m okay,i really live better in single,i'm single but not available,cos i dont wanna to hv a relationship right now.rather solo,which i supposed to b.some ppl claim how bad to b lonely,but i prefered.cos i'm happy now!

i LOVE u!!

on 2:38 AM

i dont wanna to live in d unhappy way anymore...
jus wanna escape,to b better of alone,i dont worry to b alone
but i'm scared of unhappiness tat exist between.
love comes when it really come,
it leave when it need to go,
at the moment,i opt to let go..
let u go away from me,may u hv a brighter day without me,which i cant give...
i knw tis is gonna b hurt,to u n me,but wat to do...
it doesnt mean i dont love u,the way i love u is to let u go..
i jus knw tat i love yr smile,but wat i get from u is always not a smile..
kissgoodbye to u...promise me to take good care!
tis is going to end the story,my 1st love.

i love muka head!

on 1:46 AM










where frienship being planted

on 3:00 AM

大学第一年就过去了,我只想在这载下和一班好友的回忆!在大学我的朋友不多,我不参于团体活动,所以经常都跟他们混在一起了。就是一起吃饭,打球,看戏,喝酒,上课,上tutorial时间也按排在一起!在家靠父母,出外靠朋友啊,这句话决对没错!朋友嘛,混在一起时就很自然的可以开玩笑了,也会启发了对方的想像力,一起搞笑.认识了一年,说久不久,但总觉得好像认识了好几年一样.做朋友的有今生无来世,不用计较那么多,朋友互相帮忙是应该的,两个字:义气!认识你们,真的让我感觉很幸运,你们都很好!没什么,就在这里给你们留言而已。

第一个,就是我的室友,他的style很劲吧?太专业了!!!
呵呵,他是mervin@ah leong@leongleong,自称自己是driver喔,哎呀,没工钱拿pun,哈哈!他经常载我们去吃好料,出去玩,所以呢,ah leong是最好的!搬出去没能和你一起住,一起打dota了T.T仨人中,ah leong脾气最好了,哈哈,perli他也没事的!leong,谢谢你,这一年来经常载我们叻!
ei,要努力读书啦!还有啊,糖果不可以吃太多叻,记得记得。










他就是小keat keat啦,可以去参加扮可爱比赛啦!呵呵,他为人很不错的,有领导能力,真是个可爱的老大叻!很会照顾朋友,也是很有义气的!是个大忙人,哎呀,念architech的嘛,再加上很多约会,所以就比较忙咯。如果你要约他就比须叫他dear咯,那就可以了,hoho...哎,不要整天把"那杯" (na be)啦。。。。骂些新的嘛!!@#$%^&*...
















这位仁兄叻,就是jonas@nard nard.哈哈,扮可爱他才第二名,因为第一杯小kk赢了,哇哈哈!特点是blur blur,还有吃午饭时间睡醒,哈哈!上课psp成绩还是名列前矛,厉害吧!^^这张照片呢,是在升旗山的电话亭拍的,别以为是动物园叻!哈哈!









与今@金金,桂林人。经常混在一起的,有他在就有gay的气氛啦,gay佬之神嘛!哈,和nard nard一样,上课psp,不过考试就有点难度了,因为英文出题,嘿,你的英文要加把劲啦!还有,食量超惊人的他,在马来西亚几乎没吃得饱,哈哈!太吓人啦。。。刚认识时还以为你真老实,现在才发现原来你那么。。。哈哈!还把我的名给改了,干...!呵呵,第二学年或许我们得到的科系不同啦,你要努力啊!有什么事要帮忙要记得我。













joanne@xiao joanne,我的coursemate,想象力丰富的高手,哈哈!其实我也一样,所以一直都在跟她炸来炸去。也是辨论高手喔,别跟她吵你一定输的了,呵呵!哎,平时很爹一下的。嘻嘻,虽然平时很幼稚,不过真人是很想法的啦!还记得我们在巴士上扮小孩声音,整巴士的人都看叻,哈哈!new year eve countdown在queenbay坐trolley超paiseh叻!想起就。。。






这位就是我们gang中最小的,esther@美韵,我的妹子。嘻嘻,很搞笑的,小孩子就是喜欢扮大人叻!哈哈,开玩笑啦,虽然经常说你像小孩,其实我觉得你蛮成熟的。这个妹很不错叻,说她肥也没事的,只是被捏几下而已啦。咳,不要吃太多料。。。^^最爽的是平时讨论功课都想跟她打架叻,太劲啦。。嘻嘻!平时参我去打球,跑步,骑脚车最多的,谢叻。哎呀,你谢我才对,跟着我运动肯定瘦下来的,哈哈!所以啊,以后约你去运动时别说懒惰啦!












ivan@endao@xiao van van,100%made in sarawak。c his hair?tis call endao la,but tis is not his most endao photo yet,after he take out the spec then u knw,mesti kena shock by his eyes 1.haha...ivan,dont forget our preach har,to join komuter U,haha!dont go drive to ipoh n leave me alone here o.haha!!so good tat v r now staying 2gether,still can DoTA 2gether.haha...








右一的是peggy@tzin ping@xiao peg peg。看!照片里的这三个都很能吃的叻,边吃边笑,几开心一下peg peg真很够义气的啦,我没人陪是会陪我吃宵夜,半夜去mcD吃ice cream,哈!最爽就是去jelutong pasar malam啦!最高记录吃了十几摊的东西,大家一起一摊一摊吃,全都很好吃,很爽!由其是有金金和peg peg这种人马,吃东西好像吃不饱的,geng ar!呵呵,peg peg我去seremban时记得带我到处跑哦!hehe。。



中间的就是xiao nian nian@壮念念(old use)。hehe,小念念人也很好的,整天就用些吃的来收买我咯。哈哈!经常说“跟你打架”的,知道为什么没有因为你一定打输的,壮念念嘛!keke...





























kao...

on 6:19 AM

kao kao kao!!!
y my laptop can release shock?y recently the temperature is similar wit me,oftenly stay overheat?nonono...u gonna fever tat u cant...sad...
well,i knw u r jus in front of the factory door now,so i made a call to cure u,haha...hopefully yr doctor come quickly la!
hehe~dont want u sick but u ard sicked,tats true 1.
u r my best companion liao leh,without u,i hv to lose contact with many,i cant online for movie,fb,news,study...huhuhu....T.T

4/5

on 2:49 AM

the lab course started on 2day,my group begin with plant lab 1st,touching by so many kind of plants,numbers of species,but actly jus simply copying hard from book,boring...
wat v need to do inside is jus ans the question distributed to us,all ques are directly from book that v buy for the course,LOL~
then drawing skill was tested,our hands was being forced to draw the plant morphology.i drew pity diagram at last,hahaha~yujin did it more better than me.haha~
there is 1 thing i wondered,since all of the chinese are trying hard to complete the handouts n finally most of us cant,but all malays did it so advance,some can even complete 2 hours earlier yet, damn chim~so chinese lose jor...
ai...missing u all a lots...x_x

relieve!!

on 4:30 AM

hehe~yo...i feel good!after the final exam,all exam papers done,exclude the BOI 105 paper tat come after practical.i like tis kind of feeling,lets start the fun!
so relax right now...stay away from exam finally...
although holiday hvnt start but i still hv a short trip to ipoh on 30/4,with my favourite buddy in USM,too bad tat byin is leaving us aeroplane...so nice la her!com'on,clap clap for her...well,its gonna hv a lot of fun there,cheers~
i plan to get some partime job along the holiday,hopefully there is vacancy la.
haha~if no job for me?i will hv my plan B,haha,i will spend the free time for my english,which is need to improve.i wanna graduate with a fluent tongue,in add,i hv to face english class for the coming semester so its better to brush up now.
between,my stamina oso gotta b improved,i was too weak in long run.must b stronger,so lets do more training,yep~swimming will b a good choices to training myself.then i can join penang bridge run again,yippi~
but most essential is my ankle's suffer,recently it start to pain n cant fully recover so far.teruk~

wat the shit!!

on 8:40 AM

after the discussion,i m still cant knw much abt calculus,wat the hell i m doing...
feeling like dying,fed up,failed...i resemble an idiot in calculus,so suffer...
i jus cant do well,even question came so easy,i m a numb in math,really...
so struggling through out,i m noob!i m shit!i m useless at all!
damn it!feeling so strong to kick off complicated math in life,so far i never use such a complicated math to solve any question i faced,it seem a lie to learn it in a hard way.i never enjoy much.in addition,the lecturer is my retarder,all the way teaching me to fail!n she was really cool n successful!
too lucky to get tis kind of lecturer,damn soi!!
today so soi,moto break down somemore,the clutch string break in half way back.
zzz!!!i need boxing!!!who can accompany?

the last standing warrior,MAA

on 6:45 AM

now,i standing solo to study MAA,i guess tis is the 1st time i pay serious attention on it.previously,i jus managed to play a fool,not listening in class nor tutorial,then how do u think wit my carry on revision?of course badly n madly in trouble...
hehe~so cool,last few days to study,but still resembles easy.if u ask me how's MAA to me now,my ans is still dying...i wanna study but really no ideas,each time i doing a dizzy spell come...
how how how~how to study MAA leh?sigh...crawling....mayday mayday~
the last standing warrior will b who?MAA o me?
x_x

the day of boredom

on 5:52 AM

very boring here...nothing i wanna do,n i m doing nothing...
recall yesterday,done biostat exam,not perform so well but jus can let it go...
then go for badminton,wah...fun!i need badminton game so much in life!but my right leg still in pain,useless la!
then night v go for dinner with the gang but without hg-keat,joanne,peg,nianian,so jus four ppl:leong,ivan,byin n i.v went long buoy makan,huhu...then playing doTA with the guys,unfortunately the game going to b so lag.bo siok 1...but 2day cant play anymore,it will generate more guilty in me,haha!
today slpt a lot n dint go for sport cos leg still pain,haiz...how to recover...
now i must start pick up for my calculus,my mind math level still fail in calculus,jus "k" it!

19/4

on 5:16 AM

回到宿舍又是要读书啦,没什么事做就读书咯。。。
边读边唱歌,就着样到半夜,然后就去睡觉,哈哈,基本上每天都是这样过的,白天上课晚上就很无聊的呆在电脑前读书一下~听听歌~然后就这样地过了一天。
今天去了pisa的pc fair,可以说是浪费了一老半天时间去那跟人拥挤吧,哈!在那看到很多promoter在努力的推销,不仅让我想起去年我也去了pc fair打工的日子,很累,从有声讲到喉咙没声了还是要拼,哈!是一种体会!
很不喜欢sales的我,为了赚点pocket money所以去尝试了这种工作,的确是感受到钱难赚啊!嘻嘻,其实也做挺开心的!学到不少东西的。。。嘻,我还连续三天拿top sales呢!
呵呵,话说回来,今天也不例外的,又会看点书然后facebook,msn,唱歌,哈哈~
就是这样平平凡凡地过日子了,轻轻松松的也蛮不错嘛!

17/4

on 7:22 PM

uhuh~
ecology paper is done,next coming up paper is biostatistic n calculus,am jus worry that i would screw up on calculus as i did,in previous small tests.
the paper scope is quite small,jus few topics to cover but i wasnt manage it in good way,seldom touch on it,tats y result was poor,sigh~nono,not anymore,gotta brush up harder for now!
tis time,i understand the condition tat how i hv gone through the exam,with little efforts,biodiversity n ecology are more or less dying,so now hv to heal it,but doing better in the coming paper.the papers arent a nonsense to me now,jus biodiverse was.
anyway,i must get myself to b recharged n focus on study!beat it!

考试期

on 6:33 AM

很久没写部落格咯,这几天都在准备考试所以没写,现在比较有心情写啦。
今天才是第一天开考,我们applied bio的就考两科了,但是最迟考完的应该也是我们吧,哈哈!考了无机化学和biodiversity化学还ok,biodiversity就废废地,所以我也答得很废废,嘻嘻!
我总觉得念书只人生的一部分,在念书的过程中会学到很多东西,除了书中所记载的,还有很多很多。在马来西亚,念书的过程中我们最常被考的都是记忆,该记的,不该记的都要记,但是我们就是忘了要变通,时代不同了,你多厉害被也不可能比得上电脑的。所以还须要一直考记忆力吗?
哈哈,我不说读书过程中会学到很多书外的东西吗?对了,今天的我更学会“看开”了,呵呵。。虽然biodiversity都不会答,但我还是好心情地走出来,还是第一个走出去的,以其在里面写废话,不如早一小时出来,浪费了个sem的学废废的biodiversity了,更不要浪费多一小时在它啦,嘻嘻。。
人生不必太执着,人生一定是要以好成绩来证明自己吗?但事实上好成绩的文凭会增添生活的色彩吗?要我背那些废废的东西以便考好得成绩,我办不到,拿了A又怎么样,只不过是一科废废的biodiversity。
不是消极,只是我不喜欢死读书。
哈哈,好吧,大家都加油啦!努力考好sem 2,过后就可以轻松地假期啦!

pocket crashing

on 5:20 AM

i think i was doomed to be poor,it's my fate to be away of money...
tis time handphone malfunction,the repairing cost,take me at least hundred and abv...so poor ard,now come tis so expensive stuff,i really feel sorry to it.
come on,tell me how to save money? my money will jus pop off like tat,every month sure hv a way to spend away a big sum!wat a crazy happening stuff la!
haiz...damn sad...wat i gonna do leh?with tat,it's not impossible for me to spend over 1k per month,last 2 month i spent 2k,but i owned nothing in d end!
i wonder how i m going to survive in the following month,wat to do...
well,will i die bcs of no money?till now d answer is NO but i was so tired to deal with it ard.
i had learnt to b a happy 1 no matter i was rich o poor at the moment.
pls bless those stuff abt money piss off from me.
WALAO~~

5/4

on 10:12 AM

早上六点多起身,载妹去上学,然后就和公公去喝茶吃点心,一样的,又是吃得很饱。
回家后就跟铭和贤去拜阿亮,这个朋友我已然还想你,你好吗?
过后就去巴士车站喝搅冰,边喝边聊了很多,哈哈!很喜欢跟朋友得空时坐在一起聊,很开心。
之后回家,无所事事的,就玩shodoku,第一次玩,原来数独是这样好玩一下的!哈哈!过后就睡觉啦,无聊到很困叻。
回家一天,现在我又要离家啦,爸妈你们都保重!
b,今天都没跟你聊天,是不是我怕了没话讲,应该是吧!不懂怎么说,我更不懂为何你对我总是这样,你有想过要改吗?冷。。。所以不敢找你了。
下午也下了很大的雷雨,你知道此刻我更想你吗?我知道你怕打雷,很想在你身边要你别怕,记得以前每次打雷我都会特别地想起你,告诉你别怕,我的心飞去陪你了。呵呵,此刻我们都孤单了,你也没回我信息了。
你说很想回到以前那样,我也很想,很想说我好爱你!
时间陵晨一点多了,dear晚安!

no way out?

on 6:50 AM

life is a little bitter if u'r facing some helpless.
tats true when u can do nothing for it,jus hv no way abt it.
something needs rather awareness,i knw tats not own by everybody of course,so....
when there is no good to b spoke out,then it's getting stuck.cos ard lacking of self-awareness.
anyway,i will always b a reminder of my own,judge over myself time to time,searching my mistake,my blind weakness...to ensure to i'm going with pleasure n be a favour to the surrounding.
last time i used to throw tantrum when i was helpless,showing up like bad mood n hot temper.but i realised tats a stupid way,wat false if the thing u ald cant fix it then still force yrself to bear in mind?y dont jus let it b!
i hv make a little bit changes,no longer struggle hard for those problem tat hv no way to fix.sigh...jus let it b...i still stay calm,leave it,tats the exit when there is no way out,bcs u cant help to do any.
so i say goodbye to it n forget abt it.

"pia" ar!

on 10:54 AM

2day,the last biostat tutorial class is done.
the tutorial was conducted by Mr.Wythe,a master student of biotech here.he is kind n very approaching tutor.remember,starting at the 1st tutorial,v erd enjoy the tutorial,then 2nd tutorial in turn of mandarin as medium language,haha,1st time!the class always conducted in fun,by the way,v learnt a lot of biostat from him.
in usm,i never meet 1 tutor so close to us,haha,mayb bcs i seldom take part in community activity,i oso never tend to build relationship to any superior as well.however, it's great to meet him.thanks you!
so when i come to tis,i shall put in mind tat final exam is soon,n gotta pick up so much in study.
will i study hard for biodiverse?haha...i think i cant,but no choice,i dont wish to c those sohai lecturer again next sem,so do it smart.
gambateh yo!

notion LOG

on 8:07 AM

2day,MAA test has come ended up a crash wit me,i did silly at the paper cos i really hv no idea on how to solve the math.well,i m taking calculus tis sem,yet still not aware abt my poor on it.i knw the cause,in frank i never pay attention on MAA,cos the lecturer is dizzy person,n moreover i was so unwilling to knw more on math,not interested to calculate in such a complicated way.haha,tats y drowning n dying hard...
mustnt repeat it again at final exam,do my best!!
n the happy stuff is i made a call to my father 2day,hv a quite long talk,feeling so great,it made me recharged!
actly i seldom keep in touch with my family members,jus get used to it,either they r not worry abt me o they dint think abt me.i dint call them for ntg,n so do they,tats enough to explain our relationship la.
i m a free spirit since form 5,my parent never do restriction on me.n with tat freedom i will always out from home,so hardly can c me spending much time to saty at home.between,the reason i run away from home is i had great dislikes for my home,but still missing it even its not warm..watever it is, tats still my home.
then i called father,to greet him,jus a little concern tat a son like me can do.he is telling me,not to worry,everything is gonna b okay at home,but somehow i knw,how really it's.well,i'm very glad to hear so.
i knw it one day,i will let my overwork parents to hv a better life,let them better off now.n pls bless them in healthy.

这世界上有鬼吗?

on 11:02 PM

我不知道,因为没看过,所以只能说不知道。。
虽然经常有听说别人的“鬼”事,但是我还是“听过”,不会去理会,也许我本身就没什么谜信,就这样不信神也不信鬼,人倒是最可怕的!
我不信的 原因是神是为人好的,但又怎么会要人去奉信得那么辛苦呢?听说有些人没拜神又怎样怎样了,那到底神是好还是坏的?
奇怪的是,神这么伟大,这世界上还是那么多人挨饿,身带重病,种种不幸的悲剧都有?
不同宗教有不同的神,华人死后上华人天堂,马来人死后上马来人天堂?每个人都是人为何有那么多种天堂啊?那比如说,有个华人和马来人生下的孩子,很小就跟猩猩长大(像tanzan),没拜过任何神,那他死后上那个天堂啊?还是没地方去?
神鬼也许曾经存在,但那是几百几千年前的事了,现今的世界都没有神的出现来打救人类了,战争,经济不景,罪案率飚升?神的指导在那?allah还有turun surat wahyu ma?还是神都怕了这先进的世界,怕现身后会被抓起来研究?
哈哈,我觉得平日不做亏心事就不用怕神鬼啦!行得正,站得正!说不定见鬼是还可以say"hi..."叻!然后再说:你别跑,我要拍照给朋友看!(看什么鬼就说什么语言lmao)
我相信《进化论》,不过也喜欢听鬼故事的!

读书

on 6:27 AM

进了大学以后,我开始不喜欢读书了,总是不能很发奋地去读,甚至功课很多都没完成,感觉不到像过着求学的生活,浪费时间。。
想一想原因:1.大学的书不好读,缺少吸引力?2.我懒惰了?
对这个course兴趣,但是开学就读后就越来越失望了,实在outdate!
哈哈!现在知道还没迟,意味着我必须自己求上进来,才能不脑空空地毕业。
进大学了,我真的很想学更多些知识,不要在k书死背书了(哈哈,其实我都没客意地背那些各种bacteria的organelle长度有多少nm,科学名字等等)
虽知道没背考试就死定,但就是不想k太多这种无聊的东西进脑,哈哈,死定咯。。。
呵呵,m'sia的水准就到这,像人说的,不读书孩子的头脑是聪明的,但是书读多了,就变呆了。。好处也许是memory space变大了吧!hoho...
说到这,我没真正想过要选哪个major,很想静静地想一想,其实我要做那一门学问一辈子的朋友?对哪个比较有兴趣呢,哪个会比较适合自己?哪个最不会后悔?
老子之道:自然,自在,且宁静地阔大心境,用理念去化解,以理导势。

dont knw

on 9:55 PM

dun ask me so many "why"?
i always dun knw how to express myself,jus wanna b myself if i had try my best!
so no mood to response on everything...
haha,i m tan koe yeuan n sometimes i act like tis,dun knw why...
i can easily sense the boredom of life...too many undesirable,unhappy,senseless feeling again...
exam is coming,can i perform a better result?so poor i m right now...
exam fever!!!
thinking of which major i m going to take,no ideas at all...blank in my head,which 1 will i enjoy the most,o neither?
tis weekend i solo again...wanna go home but go home for wat? the house was never warm..everytime i reach home,will feel frustated 1st...so fierce inside,wish to go home but there is no home for me...
i jus cant think too much,life is sometimes v will hv no choice...^^

emo of the moment

on 3:50 AM

at the moment,mostly ppl will put their head in the books,continue n continuously revise...
but me,hv no mood at the moment,not even tension to face the test,although i knew i m not well ready.
well,tones of chapters to b covered,n i was depress to study...
b4 weekend,i knw tat i must make full of time during weekend n now i'm failed to implement my plan...
i cant let myself to swallow so many items at a short moment,but tats the only way...especially for biodiverse n ecology,90% of it is to by heart...uh!!i'm jus hate to by heart the books...so boring till shut my eyes down...haha...
come on...no tire,ktt 1st!

每一段路都是一种领悟

on 11:16 PM

生活上的每一段路,都会带来一种经历,另一种感触。
每一段路都会带来一些领悟,但领悟之前你总会迷路,迷路后再找到了出路。
无可否认的,人都是须要从错误中学习,学习与改进。
如果只能明白而办不到,那并不算是一种领悟,那还是迷糊。
“路”不能一直在走,偶尔也应该停下脚步望望回头发生的事。再看看自己,清醒地了解一下状况。再继续地走下去。
我平时在睡前有个习惯,会想起一天发生的事,回看自己是否有什么做错了,明天要做得更好。